"Beyond the Market" with Gaelen Trombley, Associate Real Estate Broker
- Jodi Brunner
- 16 hours ago
- 3 min read
Why Everyone You Know Is Moving — But No One’s Actually Going Anywhere
If you’ve talked to anyone lately, you’ve probably heard it: “We’re thinking about moving.” “We might downsize.” “We’ve been looking online… just browsing.” And yet, the next time you drive by their house, the same car is in the same driveway with the same faded Adirondack chair out front. So why does everyone talk about moving, but hardly anyone actually does it? It’s not because people are lazy. It’s because people are human. And humans are complicated.
1. We Confuse Discomfort With Disaster
There’s a big difference between being slightly unhappy in your home and being ready to change it. Maybe your kitchen’s too small, or the floor squeaks every time you walk past the fridge. You notice it every day, but not enough to actually do anything about it. Psychologists call this “status quo bias.” We prefer the known pain over the unknown outcome. Even when something isn’t ideal, it’s predictable—and predictable feels safe. So instead of making a move, we just keep making excuses: “After the holidays,” “Once the kids finish school,” or my favorite—“When things calm down.” (They never do.)
2. We Wait for “The Perfect Time”
There’s no such thing as a perfect time to move. But that doesn’t stop us from trying to find it. Rates go up, rates go down. Prices rise, prices fall. There’s always a reason to wait. We tell ourselves we’re being smart or strategic, but most of the time, we’re just trying to avoid the discomfort of making a big decision. Perfection gives us the illusion of control. It lets us believe that one day, all the variables will magically line up and we’ll feel ready. But life rarely offers a clean runway. There’s always a reason to stay grounded.
3. We Think More Space = More Happiness
It’s one of the great modern myths: “If I just had a little more room, everything would be easier.” Spoiler alert—it’s not. When people move, they often discover the same frustrations follow them. The clutter, the habits, the daily rush—it all just moves to a new ZIP code. Because what we’re really chasing isn’t more square footage—it’s space in our lives. Sometimes that means less house, not more. Sometimes it means cleaning out the garage, not adding another one. We don’t always need new walls; we need new boundaries.
4. We Fear Regret More Than We Crave Change
Most people don’t stay put because they love their house. They stay because they fear making the wrong move. “What if we sell and can’t find something else?” “What if we move and the market changes?” “What if we hate the new neighborhood?” Fear of regret is one of the strongest psychological forces there is. We’d rather live with mild dissatisfaction than risk the unknown. It’s safer to say “maybe next year” than to say
“let’s go for it” and wonder if we’ll miss what we left behind.
The Real Reason We Stay
When people say they’re “thinking about moving,” they’re often not talking about a house—they’re talking about a feeling. The desire for a fresh start. A new chapter. A sense of progress. But a new home doesn’t automatically give you that. Sometimes the real move is internal—the decision to live differently, not just elsewhere.
Bottom line:
Most people aren’t stuck because they can’t move. They’re stuck because they haven’t decided why they want to. Until the “why” becomes clear, the “where” doesn’t matter. And once it does, the process of moving stops feeling like a risk—and starts feeling like a return to momentum. Sometimes the hardest part isn’t packing boxes. It’s packing up your comfort zone.
Gaelan Trombley is an Associate Real Estate Broker with Kavanaugh Realty and host of The Gaelan Trombley Show, a long-form podcast with guests across various fields.