Breakfast with Herb & Mike

Gift giving is our way of demonstrating to people that we care about them, that we’ve made a special effort to show them we know and understand them. In this episode of Breakfast with Herb and Mike, father and son talk about thoughtful gifts, creative gifts and humorous gifts given and received. But most of all they talk about caring and family. And their breakfast saga continues…

Mike: The holidays — the biggest gift given time of the year – are almost here. Let’s talk about gifts today. Tell me about a memorable gift you received.

Herb: The first one that comes to mind is the lamp the department gave me when I retired. It has my gun, holster, night stick, hand cuffs, and chief’s badge mounted on a wooden base. It is a constant reminder of the career that shaped the man I have become.

Mike: It’s been on every desk you’ve had since then.

Herb: Yes, it has. Now let’s talk about the gifts you’ve received that have recognized your recovery. Is there one that stands out in your mind?

Mike: May of 2020 was the 30th anniversary of my sobriety. Normally Lizzie would have thrown a party to commemorate the milestone, but it was at the height of COVID. That didn’t slow my wife down, she’s creative. She contacted family and friends and arranged for them to record a congratulatory message for me, then she put them all together in a video. We still have it, and I watch it from time to time and still tear up.

Some of the most rewarding gifts haven’t been the ones we‘ve received, but the ones we’ve given. A great example of that was your Santa bag.

Herb: I don’t recall how I got started with that, but it was a lot of fun. Mary bought me a Santa hat and made me a bag. I would spend hours walking the mall looking for stuffed animals for each family member.

Mike: At first, we thought it was a little corny, but pretty soon we got into it and looked forward to what you would come up with. One year you gave me a bear dressed as a hockey player. You’d made a hockey stick and attached it. It was those extra touches that were most important. Another year you gave Lizzie a really big teddy bear. Why so big?

Herb: Because she has such a big heart and I wanted to recognize it.

Mike: One year, when Uncle Bob was feuding with his neighbor who wanted to open a dog boarding place, you gave him a stuffed dog that barked and said, “Who let the dogs out?” He didn’t think it was funny, but we all did. Lizzie and I have kept the gifts you gave us over the years and, I’m sure if you check with others family members, they have too.

Herb: Although I don’t do the Santa bag anymore, I still consider it the high point of my gift giving. What about you?

Mike: One Christmas I came up with an idea I will likely never be able to top. Lizzie and I were big on experiences rather than gifts, so I arranged a ski trip for us to Lake Tahoe. Instead of giving her a card telling her about it, I bought her nine small gifts — one for each of the first letters of the words Lake Tahoe — licorice for L, an apricot candle for A…You get the idea. It took her a while to figure out the clues, but it all came together.

Herb: That’s an incredible idea. I never heard you tell that story before.

Mike: How about a more recent gift experience for you Dad?

Herb: When I came home from the hospital after my stroke I was discouraged and fearful about the future. It was then Mary put a little white dog in my lap. I have always been a dog lover, but my reaction that day was, “I need to concentrate on my recovery. This is no time for a puppy.” But it was. We named her Lily, and, with her happy, affectionate personality, she soon became my “therapy dog.” Three years later I can confidently say I have never received a gift that has had a more long-term impact on me.

Mike: We are fortunate to have been able to spend so many holidays together and, although receiving gifts is nice, it is true that giving is more fun. Spending time with loved ones is what is important. That’s the greatest gift of all.